Courtney on Chapter 3

Here’s what I have to say on chapter 3:

In regards to your question on whether to combine chapters two and three or keep them separated, I believe the latter would be best. I like the idea of pushing most of the relationship development in chapter two and focusing more on the council in chapter three. Although, in my opinion, this whole thing between Rainald and Aleta happens much too quickly. To go from strangers to this tight bond and referring to each other with loving pet names, it just seems too sudden to me, and suddenness like that can put reader’s off. It seemed as if the story were getting crammed together into one big mess of happenings. Too much was happening and the story kept jumping and the tone would go from one of seriousness to one of playfulness at moments that seemed impractical (such as Rainald taking pleasure in Gilden’s surprise when he really should have perhaps been a little more worried about this upcoming meeting).

I do like where this is going though, his realization at the end that the shipwrecked newcomers might be the forerunners of a new clan and -gasp- what does this mean for the current clan? It’s very exciting. As you stated, there is a lot of infodumpishness in this chapter, but a lot of that is helpful, such as the explanation of the Ichari and the origins of the clan so that should all be kept in. The only thing that is still really bothering me is Rainald’s personal life is just…exploding too quickly. We have barely met him and his world and suddenly he’s gotten this new gift and a new bride and the two of them are very close even though it appears it’s only been a day since they met. A shared gift of Precog, in my opinion, wouldn’t really give that sort of bond. They may have seen that they end up together, but it wouldn’t just happen in an instant, they’d still have to work at getting to know each other. I do appreciate the bond between their gifts, I can see that happening, the two of their gifts bonding so entirely that they are always in contact with each other, but I would see that more as a weird tool for them to get to know each other better rather than as a sort of love potion.


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