Elyse on Chapter 1

Unfortunately not enough time for something completely in depth (curse you, Higher School Certificate trial exams), but some points:
-The beginning was too abrupt for me. Like reading a novel from page two, the start didn’t hook me into the plot; I actually double checked that I opened the right file to read.
-The Pattern stone wasn’t really explained. I could gather it was a sign of a Clan member, but did it do anything else? Is it a Gift GPS? Did it fine tune the telepathy?
-The death of Rainald’s father was not as impacting as it could be. Rainald obviously cared for his father but his grief came out as robotic. I don’t know how to describe this but I’ll attempt it.
+Rainald’s father dies (we never learn his name, only formal titles like father and Lord of Avigor).
+Rainald steps out to the cool dark balcony needing to be alone and away from his room.
+Detached thoughts about his new duties as Lord that he has been groomed for his whole life.
+How he will be regarded as a very young (but of age) Lord by the other Clan Lords.
As a scene that could have, and should have been emotive, it fell flat. His one night of tears fell short for grief of a loved father, but crying for a cold yet respected man seems pointless. Maybe knowing about his relationship with his father could help with knowing the depth of Rainald’s grief.
-The High Council, some of the members warm and caring, some pompous and standoffish. They all argue about their views, but mainly agree on one point, Gift outside the Clan must be destroyed to protect any potential threat to the Clan way of life. Sort of reminds me of the politics shows on TV…
I enjoyed the chapter as a whole, granted some typos threw me off, and cannot wait to have time to read anything not school-related to finish the story.

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One Comment to “Elyse on Chapter 1”

  1. Can I just say what a relief to discover somebody who actually knows what theyre talking about on a internet. You actually know how to bring an trouble to light and make it important. Far more men and women have to read this and understand this side on the story. I cant feel youre not a lot more well-known mainly because you actually have the gift.

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